Gatherings of Evil
In the name of Allah The Most Merciful The Most Gracious:
Have you ever actually taken the time to pay attention to the things that you say during a conversation with someone or a group of close friends? Now the hypothetical is that if the conversation with your close friends was broadcasted for the world to hear then would you feel any sort of guilt or paranoia about what was being said in that dialogue? Or maybe even some of the stuff you say? Do you think the people will benefit from what the gathering says? Or would you hold regret and shame over what you all discussed?
The idea behind this topic is to have responsibility for your words in a gathering or even alone. We noticed that people tend to say whatever is on their mind, especially in a gathering of close friends. Now to some degree that is ok since a gathering should promote the idea of people speaking and being heard about what they truly feel. In fact, we would argue that they should have a safe space amongst the people that they trust or call close friends. However when the conversation takes a turn for the worst that is what we advise you on.
You are the third of the two people you hang out with. However, you need to remember that Allah SWT is the 4th in that gathering. He is a witness of what you say and what the gathering says. He collects everything in a clear register, where not one thing is unhidden unless He wills to be so.
If you attend a gathering and leave it with something meaningful that can help you get closer to Allah SWT then by far that is by far one of the best of gatherings. As stated in the hadith below.
Ibn Abbas reported: It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, which gathering is best?” The Prophet, peace, and blessings be upon him, said, “A gathering of those who inspire you to remember Allah when you see them, whose discourse increases your knowledge, and whose good deeds inspire you to remember the Hereafter.” Source: Musnad Abī Ya’lá 2408
Now sometimes some gatherings might not always talk about Quran and Hadith and might just involve worldly dialogue, however, the main thing is to not transgress in speech. We advise you to strive to do your best to be mindful of the words that you say and to be caring to everyone.
We know that you have no control over what they say however we advise you to protect yourself from others who have no self-control. Would you go camping at a site that is heavily infested with mosquitoes, if not then don’t invest time in the company of people who don’t value you for you!
Even if you fear that you are the only one and if you don’t hang out with these types of friends then you won’t have anyone else to hang out with. Remember that he who walks on the path of Allah SWT justly and soundly never is alone, and has Allah SWT as his company. Excellent is that company and excellent is that servant.
People will say things to you that will hurt you and bring you pain, and some of those people are just not mindful of what they say. They have no control over their speech and even if they did they won’t contain it. Where we can remember countless times when people hurt us and made us feel bad, or even made us feel less of who we are. Sometimes people doubted us when we were truthful and those are usually the worst of experiences. We have to understand that even Prophet Muhammed PBUH was doubted and people attacked him for the message that Allah SWT sent to him.
Your words have weight
Words hold immense power. In Islam, the Quran’s sacred verses exemplify this. Kind words unite and heal, while hurtful ones can harm and divide. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) emphasized using good words and cautioned against falsehood. Thoughtful speech fosters compassion and understanding, shaping better relationships and societies. Islam urges us to weigh our words wisely, promoting kindness and avoiding harm. Through mindful communication, we can create a positive impact on ourselves and others.
A hadith of this is below.
(O Muhammad!) “We know indeed that the things they say grieve you, though in truth it is not you whom they give the lie to, but it is the signs of Allah that these wrong-doers reject” (6:33)
The people of that time called him trustworthy but denied his speech and called him a liar. The amount of pain he must have felt from hearing people say that is just saddening.
Prophet Muhammed PBUH tried so hard to make sure that he set the best of examples and indeed he was. He spoke to the people in the best of ways that he could to spread the message, and some people still denied him. Especially since we know what he said is the truth then how can people deny the beautiful message of Islam?
“For that is Allah, your Lord, the Truth. And what can be beyond truth except for error? So how are you averted”? (Quran 10:32)
The reason why we mentioned this is to help you understand that people will doubt you or hurt you regardless if you are truthful or not. Some people are not mindful of what they say individually or even collectively. Try your best to break the chain of idle talk, and strive to be more responsible for your words. Take some time to understand your speech and see what needs to be worked on. Try to speak as much good and in times of anger, practice silence. Speak out for justice though and never let the wrongdoers succeed.
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Let him who believes in Allah and the Last Day speak good, or keep silent, and let him who believes in Allah and the Last Day be generous to his neighbor, and let him who believes in Allah and the Last Day be generous to his guest.” [Al-Bukhari] [Muslim]
Refrain from Idle talk
In Islam, idle talk, also known as “Laghw,” refers to pointless and frivolous conversations that serve no beneficial purpose. The Quran admonishes against engaging in idle talk, reminding believers to utilize their time and speech wisely. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) also emphasized the importance of guarding one’s tongue and avoiding useless chatter. Idle talk can lead to wasting precious moments, spreading rumors, or even indulging in gossip and backbiting, which are all discouraged in Islam. Instead, Muslims are encouraged to engage in meaningful and productive discussions, using their words to promote positivity, knowledge, and understanding. By being mindful of our speech, we can enhance our spiritual growth and build stronger connections with others.
Remember that the gateway to your heart is through your speech, if you are speaking ill all the time then how do you think the condition of your heart will be? A healthy person speaking ill of others is the same as that person being ill even at a time of good health.
Just like if you want to live a healthy life then focus on your diet and if you want to have a better deen then practice silence.
‘Ubadah ibn al-Samit reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace, and blessings be upon him, said, “Speak what is good and acquire gains, or refrain from speaking evil and be safe.” Source: Musnad al-Shihab al-Quḍāʻī 666
Remember that even if you treat people nicely they won’t always treat you well. However don’t think that it is pointless, the one who knows your actions is second to none. He is the King of all Kings. He notices your silence in different situations and rewards you for your patience. He sees you leave a bad gathering out of fear for him. He sees you struggling but still supports you even when you see it to be pointless. A hadith shows this.
Ibn Umar reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever restrains his tongue, Allah Almighty will cover his faults. Whoever controls his anger, Allah Almighty will protect him from His punishment. Whoever apologizes to Allah Almighty, He will accept his apology.” Source: al-Ṣamt li Ibn Abī Dunyā 21
This topic is light on the tongue but heavy to implement so we challenge you to strive to do your best to better your speech collectively or individually. Don’t toss away the priceless value of your heart and tongue, your words are meaningful and irreplaceable. You are valued for you! Don’t underestimate yourself and race to Allah SWT.
He is the one who will honor you for your patience and reward you for your silence, just keep going!
Allah SWT knows best from here.